[Verse 1] He’s standing over there by the water fountain I’ve been watching him since like quarter past ten I rehearsed what I would say, had the whole speech written But my mouth just went and quit on me again
I had a plan, a whole TED Talk prepared Twelve seconds of courage, now I’m frozen to my chair
[Pre-Chorus] And Me says “Go” And Myself says “No” And I says “We’ve been doing this for three weeks now” And Me says “Fine” And Myself says “I’m terrified” And I says “Girl, we’re all three of us going down”
[Chorus] Me, Myself and I We’re having an intervention Me, Myself and I It’s time for intervention Three parts of me all saying different things But none of us have moved our feet Me, Myself and I Somebody better go say hi Before I talk myself out of everything Again
[Verse 2] He laughed at something, oh that laugh again I’ve been memorizing it like it’s on the test He caught me looking, just for half a second So I grabbed my phone and acted unimpressed
I’ve got two legs, one shot, and zero chill And Myself keeps saying wait and probably always will
[Pre-Chorus 2] And Me says “Okay” And Myself says “Wait” And I says “We have had this same conversation” And Me says “Right” And Myself says “Just not tonight” And I says “That’s what you said on every other occasion”
[Chorus] Me, Myself and I We’re having an intervention Me, Myself and I It’s time for intervention Three parts of me all saying different things But none of us have moved our feet Me, Myself and I Somebody better go say hi Before I talk myself out of everything Again
[Bridge - spoken rhythm into build] Okay fine. We vote. Raise your hand if you’re scared (All three of us) Raise your hand if you care (All three of us) Raise your hand if we’re still gonna be here next year Still watching from across the room Still pretending we’re fine Still writing the script we’ll never say out loud Waiting on a perfect time that doesn’t exist
One. Two. Three.
[Final Chorus - full energy, she’s moving] Me, Myself and I We finally reached a decision Me, Myself and I Goodbye to indecision Three parts of me all heading the same way And all three of our feet are moving Me, Myself and I We’re going to say hi Before I talk myself out of everything Not again Not this time Watch me
[Outro] (whispered) Hi.