[Verse 1 - starting the inventory] I made a column for everything that helped me And another column for those that pulled me under And I thought it would be clean and I could file them But instead I found that most of them were both
Like the version of me that said everything out loud Like the version that agreed to every opinion Like the method where I gave anyone the plans And ended up giving up more than that
[Pre-Chorus] Put that in the left column Helpful because— wait but also It made me crash because— that’s the same thing So which column— BOTH columns?
[Chorus] Half of something The half I kept and the half that got used Half of it was nurtured half was abused Is the useful one even the part that I choose? I divided myself into assets and questions And I can’t find which side of the table I’m on Half of something (half of nothing) That’s what’s left when you’ve indexed too long
[Verse 2 - the inventory gets more specific] I made a row for the words I said because I meant them And a row for the insensitive words I said to separate them And the space between those two rows got a little complicated When I noticed both rows sounded exactly planned
I made a note for all the people who I came with And a note for what they took when they were through I tried to cross-reference but the references kept referencing Something I should probably stop referencing
[Pre-Chorus - more heated] The crash goes in—both sides The growth goes in— also both Is there a column for— (things that are the same thing?) There is now (right)
[Chorus] Half of something The half I kept and the half that got used Half of it was nurtured half was just abused Is the useful one even the part that I choose? I divided myself into assets and questions And I can’t find which side of the table I’m on Half of something (half of nothing) That’s what’s left when you’ve indexed too long
[Bridge - quieter, the inventory turns on itself] At some point in the middle of the fourth page I realized I had been the one filling out both sides Not whoever I thought was directing the study I was the one deciding what the index says
And I don’t know if that’s worse Or if that’s the whole thing The crash I was accounting for Was the accounting (oh)
But also— I’m still here Filing things Still making the column (yeah) Half of something (which half?) Still half (the better one)
[Pre-Chorus - tired but slightly clearer] So the useful half— stayed And the used half— went Is that what the index says? (checking) …mostly (close enough)
[Chorus] Half of something The half I kept and the half that got used Half of it was nurtured half was still abused Is the useful one even the part that I choose? I divided myself into assets and questions And I can’t find which side of the table I’m on Half of nothing? (half of something!) So what’s left when you’ve indexed too long
[Final Chorus - same structure, slightly more certain] Half of something And the half I kept is the half that rings true Half of nothing Starting to think that’s the one that chooses I divided myself into assets and questions And the question turns out to be the asset I’ve got Half of something That’s not nothing That’s a lot
[Outro] Index updated. (noted) Column three renamed. (what’s column three?) Unclear. (that’s the one) But it’s mine. (definitely mine)