[Verse 1] Jealous people walked into a room I wasn’t in Decided on a verdict before I said a word (hearsay) Called their evidence a paragraph they typed last night And swore to all their followers every word was heard (I object!)
I read it twice and then I read it seven more times Like maybe it was different on the eighth (leading the witness) Like maybe I was missing something fundamental here Or maybe that was just me starting to lose faith
[Pre-Chorus - three inner voices] Okay it’s just one thing It doesn’t mean— But what if they’re right and I’m— (Can we take a recess) No no no
[Chorus] Hostile witnesses Taking the stand against a version of me they made up Hostile witnesses Thirty votes against a jury I still can’t count I know hearsay when I hear it But it still somehow gets in Hostile witnesses I’m calling objection But the noise got in (Sustained!)
[Verse 2] Someone wrote a thesis on everything I’m not (coerced) Three paragraphs that somehow covered everything I screenshot it and stared longer than I should have (leading) Then looked up what they’ve actually been making
Empty room, loud mic, strong opinion Doesn’t make it evidence though (planted?) I’ve been cross-examining the testimony And most of it is… circumstantial at best (Agreed)
[Pre-Chorus] Okay move on from it Just let it— But what if thirty becomes three hundred and— No. Stop. (Think it’s time we called a witness)
[Chorus] Hostile witnesses Taking the stand against a version of me they made up Hostile witnesses Twenty one votes against a jury I still can’t count I know hearsay when I hear it But it still somehow gets in Hostile witnesses I’m calling objection But the noise got in (Sustained!)
[Bridge - quieter, honest] There’s this thing that happens when the room gets loud You forget that quiet people exist (like me) Not because they have nothing to say But because they’re actually here, actually listening (we are)
And those were the ones I was missing While reading every hostile testimony twice The quiet room was always the right room I just couldn’t hear it through the noise (out of order)
[Spoken] Permission to treat the witness as hostile…
[Pre-Chorus - snapping out of it] Okay I see it now Their voices isn’t— Actually it’s barely anything when you— Yeah. It’s nothing.
[Chorus] Hostile witnesses Taking the stand against a version of me they made up Hostile witnesses Fifteen votes against a jury I still can’t count I know hearsay when I hear it But it still somehow gets in Hostile witnesses I’m calling objection But the noise got in (Sustained!)
[Final Chorus - key lift, fully defiant] Hostile witnesses Took the stand against a version they invented Hostile witnesses All their votes don’t represent the room I know hearsay when I hear it And now it’s staying out Hostile witnesses Case dismissed I’m not reading that again (Dismissed!)
[Outro - dry, amused] Thirty people. Up to Fifty. Up to a thousand. Don’t really care how many It could be different anyway Thirty people. Down to ten. Down to Zero.
Hostile Witnesses don’t impress me (or me, or me!)
…Exactly.