[Verse 1 - the overwhelm starting] I asked twelve people what the next move was And twelve people told me twelve different things And I wrote them all down and I stared at the list And I did something else entirely
Everything is urgent everything is now Every choice is critical and permanent and fast I am the only one applying pressure here And I cannot stop applying it
[Pre-Chorus ] This is too much Things happening all at once I think there was something that needed doing I think I hear MY LEFT BRAIN CALLING!
[Chorus] Radical implosion Not the kind that comes from outside, no Not the kind that got in from the outside, no The kind that builds from somewhere only I could find I went and asked the room for its opinion And the room gave sixty something different answers Radical implosion The pressure is internal The source is also me
[Verse 2 - the advice cycle] I found a person who had done all this before And I sat with what they said until I didn’t I called the person who knows me best And I listened very carefully and then I wouldn’t
I know they’re right, I think they might be right I know they have perspective I don’t Something in the knowing makes me need to find it on my own And the finding is the thing that’s making me collapse
[Pre-Chorus] I think the answer is coming to me Wait that was for the question yesterday OK I think it’s coming back to me Forgot I was supposed to GO OUT TODAY!
[Chorus] Radical implosion Not the kind that comes from outside, no Not the kind that got in from the outside, no The kind that builds from somewhere only I could find I went and asked the world for its opinion And the world gave eighty-something different answers Radical implosion The pressure is internal The source is also me
[Bridge - the collapse inward, sudden quiet] Here’s what I kept doing I kept looking out for the thing that was in here Like the answer was a person or a framework or a system I hadn’t found it yet but was definitely out there somewhere
And every time I asked someone I got a piece that fit some version of the question But not the version that was actually mine to answer Because that one— Wasn’t out there
It was just— Here The whole time Very inconveniently
[Pre-Chorus - quieter, all three voices exhausted] OK time to stop and reassess Looking out there not making sense I feel something building from within Something alive and changing inside me
[Final Chorus - quieter, slightly dazed] Radical implosion And the outside had nothing useful anyway And the outside is very useless anyway The answer was internal all along I went and asked the universe for its opinion And the universe said “it’s not up to me” - useless Radical implosion The pressure was internal The source was also me And so is the answer …oh.
[Outro - gentlest the voices have been] Everything at once. Everything once lost. Nothing from outside. Nothing useful anyway Everything inside. Everything me. I need to eliminate the cause of the pressure imbalance and stop the implosion. Now.