[Intro — the lullaby motif surfaces, warm, fragile. Then the drone pulls it under.] (beat of silence) (warmth tries again — then goes quiet)
[Verse 1 — controlled, almost rational — she’s convincing herself] I know what I dreamed last night I know the warmth I felt inside it I know the shape it took inside the light And I know better now than to confide it It was grief — it was the aftermath Of every wall I burned to get here It was nothing but my mind retracing Every road that once felt warm and clear
[Pre-Chorus — starts certain, ends less so] I have been deceived before By things that felt like answers I have chased a feeling through a door That only led to harder So this one — I let go
[Chorus — resolute but wrong, the warmth strains underneath] I will not follow a dream I cannot name I will not chase a warmth I cannot claim I have been fooled by beautiful before I know the sinful act of wanting more The sinful act of thinking something waits The sinful act of opening closed gates I will not do it — I will not be moved (barely, under her breath) I will not follow
[Verse 2 — the doubt creeping in despite herself] But I keep seeing it — that same small light The same familiar warmth that has no reason I keep reaching in my sleep each night For something that returns with every season I have abandoned everything I built I have walked away from altar, stone, and silence And still this dream returns without my guilt (pause) Like it was always there before the violence
[Pre-Chorus 2 — the certainty cracking] What if I have been looking In every place but one What if the warmth I’m chasing Was never in the church or in the sun What if it’s — no.
[Chorus 2 — same words, different weight — she’s talking herself back from the edge] I will not follow a dream I cannot name I will not chase a warmth I cannot claim I have been fooled by beautiful before I know the sinful act of wanting more The sinful act of thinking something waits The sinful act of opening closed gates I will not do it — I will not be moved (louder, desperate) I will not follow
[Bridge — the lullaby motif pushes hardest here. The drone is loud. War between them.] (spoken — exhausted, almost pleading with herself) It is just a dream. It is just a memory of something that never fully was. You have been deceived before — by warmth, by light, by the idea of being found. You walked away from the church for a reason. You walked away from everything for a reason. (the lullaby motif swells — almost breaks through) (a long pause) (the drone wins. The warmth fades.) It is just a dream. (quietly) Let it go.
—
[Final Chorus — drone dominant now. The warmth is gone. She won. She lost.] I will not follow a dream I cannot name I will not chase a warmth I cannot claim I chose this — I chose the open dark I chose the silence over falling apart The sinful act of denial is a mercy The sinful act of denial keeps me standing I will not follow (held, final) I will not follow
[Outro — drone alone. The lullaby motif is completely gone. Just the darkness breathing.] (nothing) (the drone holds) (fades)