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Flicker, Flicker North Star
Elara Dawn — Album 8.5: Elara Dawn

Flicker, Flicker North Star

"Flicker, flicker north star"

[Intro — the tower, the highest floor, the field is gone] She does not know how she got here

One moment: the field after the battle The corrupted light going out into the world The silence of everything she now knows

And then

The tower

Highest floor

And above her through the open ceiling one light that does not move

[Verse 1 — Polaris, before the claiming] She has come back here three times before But she was not known

She tried reaching toward it Since she knew Since she felt it From every field she crossed Trying to become what the star was waiting for

She knew the name She knew it was hers

She just was not ready

And the star which does not move held its position

And waited

[Pre-Chorus] And it flickers

Just once

The way something flickers when it recognizes what it has been waiting for

[Chorus] Flicker, flicker north star I see you up there You have been holding that position Since before I had a name

Flicker, flicker north star You have been the point Every lost person navigated toward

And you have been waiting for the one you were always keeping that position for

For the one who had to see everything before she could look up and finally find you

[Verse 2 — what she brings to the claiming] She does not come here empty

She comes with the machine that built her She comes with the names on the wall She comes with the woman on the cold floor who did not choose it either

She comes with the market bells She comes with the letter She comes with Diana’s face in Adina’s jaw

She comes with the ordinary people grinding grain in the south who held the door open for two hundred and ninety thousand years

She comes with the battle She comes with the corrupted light She comes with what she knows that she was never supposed to know

She does not come the way the church built her to come

As a sword

She comes as herself

[Pre-Chorus 2] And it flickers

Twice

The way something flickers when it understands who is standing underneath it

[Chorus] Flicker, flicker north star I see you up there You have been holding that position Since before I had a name

Flicker, flicker north star You have been the point Every lost person navigated toward

And you have been waiting for the one you were always keeping that position for

For the one who had to see everything before she could look up and finally find you

[Bridge — the claiming] She does not come here the way she came before

Every other time she looked up She was still the church’s weapon Still the sword Still the chosen one who never chose

She could feel the star She could not reach it The distance between them was everything she had not yet understood

And now she has seen everything

The machine The names on the wall The woman on the floor The letter The ordinary people grinding grain in the south

And she looks up

And she says:

I am ready now

And the star which has been holding that position since before she was born

moves

Just slightly

Just enough

The way something moves when it has been seen by the right person for the first time

And the light comes down

Not like a gift Not like a blessing Not like something given by someone who had the right to give it

Like a recognition

Like two things that were always the same thing finally touching

[Pre-Chorus 3 — full] She is not the church’s weapon

She is not the Order’s sword

She is not the chosen one who never chose

She is the one who saw everything and stood up anyway

And Polaris has been saving that position for exactly her

[Final Chorus] Flicker, flicker north star You are mine now I did not earn you with obedience I earned you with understanding

Flicker, flicker north star Every lost person who navigated by you was navigating toward this moment

Toward the one who carries the light the right way

Not aimed Not wielded Not pointed

Just

present

The fixed point that does not move while everything else turns

I am here

I am the north star’s daughter

I am finally here

[Outro — the tower, the star, the field now visible below] She stands on the highest floor

And she looks down

She can see the south She can see Mydaal She can see the battlefield She can see the kitchen and the grain and the fire

She can see somewhere in the distance a tower

A light in a tower that is not north but familiar

She does not reach for it yet

But she knows where it is now

And it knows where she is

The north star does not move

But tonight for the first time something in the south is looking back