[Intro]
Thirty fucking years…
Wonder what everybody’s doing now. … Mistake. [Verse 1] Pulled up to the place where they held the reunion Thought it’d be nostalgia and old memories Saw the basketball captain still telling the same damn stories Like the last Thirty fucking years forgot to happen, apparently
The class clown still thinks he’s hilarious Nobody’s laughed since 1996 And that teacher’s pet is giving life advice Like we’re all gathered here waiting for his take
[Pre-Chorus] Everybody talking Everybody bragging
Five minutes in And I need another drink
[Chorus] This stupid reunion And somehow you’re all the same
The names got older But the bullshit never changed
I came here looking back Now I’m looking for the exit sign
This Fucking Reunion And I really don’t like any of you this time
[Verse 2] That girl I used to dream about every fucking night Never knew I even existed
Now she’s standing by the beer stall Looking like a lizard that learned to wear lipstick
Whew…
Dodged that bullet
Thank you, universe
We finally agree on something
The rich kid’s talking crypto The athlete’s selling insurance now
The rebel became an accountant I don’t think he sees the irony somehow
One guy keeps showing baby pictures Another guy keeps talking stocks
Meanwhile I’m hiding by the snack table Trying not to throw a chair at somebody
[Pre-Chorus] Everybody winning Everybody thriving
According to themselves
[Chorus] This stupid Reunion And somehow you’re all the same
The hair got thinner But the ego stayed the same
I came here looking back Now I’m looking for the parking lot
This Fucking Reunion And this was a terrible thought
[Bridge] You know what? Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m the problem. … Nah.
It’s definitely you people.
The guy who cheated on every test Is now giving speeches about integrity
The girl who started every rumor Wants to talk about positivity
How are all of you Exactly who you used to be
But somehow worse?
[Guitar Solo]
[Final Chorus][key lift][resolved] This Fucking Reunion And I finally understand
High school’s over But some people never left
The bell quit ringing But you’re still living in those halls
This Fucking Reunion And I survived every one of you after all
[Outro] Well…
It was nice seeing everyone. …
That was a lie.
Drive safe.
Thirty fucking years.