[Intro — solo cello, drone underneath. Something like grief but colder.]
[Verse 1 — she reads the letter aloud. Steady. Controlled. Barely.] “If you are reading this without hearing it from me Then I am gone — I hoped I would be there I watched them take your parents in the name of secrecy I watched them call it necessary, call it prayer Your father knew. Your mother knew. They both refused. They called it greater good and closed the door. I am the only witness left of what they chose And I will not take this with me anymore.”
[Pre-Chorus — she stops reading. Her own voice.] She died for this She died for this page Someone held the truth inside a locked and burning cage And she died for this
[Chorus — the letter’s plea, read through her voice] Find her — the letter says find her She is the true light they tried to bury Find her — the letter says find her Before the dark takes hold and you can’t hear me Two halves of the same — find her The church built the lie on keeping you apart Find her — find her [barely a whisper] Find her before it’s too late
[Verse 2 — she keeps reading. The drone grows.] “They took you as an infant to these halls And kept you in the dark to guard the light They thought if they could hold the darkness down in you The light side would stay manageable and bright And she — your other half — they took her differently They used the soft things first: the warmth, the trust They found what she loved most and bent it slowly Until everything she was turned into dust.”
[Pre-Chorus 2 — lower now] She died for this She knew the whole truth They silenced everyone who saw it and she kept it — she kept it — for you She died for this
[Chorus 2] Find her — the letter says find her Before the darkness tells you that it loves you Find her — the letter says find her The chaos they designed is what’s around you Two halves of the same — find her You cannot let them win by keeping you apart Find her — find her [voice fractures, just slightly] Find her before it’s too late
[Bridge — she has stopped reading. Just her voice. The drone is enormous.] (spoken) She knew. This woman I have never met — she knew. She watched them take “our” parents for knowing. She carried this for years. She is gone now. [pause] And I am standing here. With everything she died to give me. [the high string — barely audible — trying to reach her] I know where to look now. I know what she looks like in my dreams. I know her warmth — I have always known her warmth. [long pause] [the drone rises over everything] [the high string disappears] [quietly] I know. [barely] And I don’t know if I can get back there. The warmth — I buried it. I chose the dark. I chose it. [silence] I think I chose wrong. [the drone holds] …I think it might be too late
[Pause]
[Final Chorus — gutted. The plea of the letter is now her own.] Find her — I have to find her She is the true light — I know she’s real now Find her — I have to find her Before the dark that’s in me overtakes me Two halves of the same — find her The letter is the only thing I have Find her — find her (voice drops to a whisper) …It might be too late
[Outro — drone and the cello. No resolution. Just grief held in the dark.] [barely heard] The nun is gone. The letter is in my hands. [pause] I know now. [the drone] I know now. [fades]