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The Legend of the Mosquito Hating Guy
That Guy — Album 1: Saevit Animo!

The Legend of the Mosquito Hating Guy

"The legend of the mosquito hating guy"

[Intro]

Three A.M.

Power’s out.

No fan.

No aircon.

Big meeting tomorrow.

And then I fucking heard it.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzz.

[Verse 1]

Hot as fuck and twice as humid

Stuck to the mattress like a human puddle

Trying to sleep before a big damn meeting

Instead I’m entering a survival struggle

Everything’s dark

Everything’s quiet

Everything’s finally going my way

Then right beside my fucking ear

I hear the sound that ruined the day

Bzzzzzzzzzz.

For the love of god!

[Pre-Chorus]

Maybe it’s just one mosquito

Maybe it’ll leave me alone

Maybe—

For the love of god!

[Chorus]

The legend of the mosquito hating guy

Started on a sleepless night

One tiny stupid bastard

One giant fucking grudge

And a fight that lasted till daylight

Bzzzzzzzz.

Where are you?

Bzzzzzzzz.

Come back here!

I swear to God

When I find you

One of us disappears

For the love of god!

[Verse 2]

Now I was fast back in the day

Fastest kid in the whole damn school

Not because I loved athletics

I was just avoiding those fucking bullies

Yellow belt in Taekwondo

Yes sir.

Reflexes sharp

Or so I thought

Because somehow this flying asshole

Could dodge every move I brought

Wax on.

Missed.

Wax off.

Missed.

Hadouken and Sonic boom.

Missed.

The mosquito was out there

Looking like Neo from The Matrix

For the love of god!

[Pre-Chorus]

At this fucking point

I’m no longer trying to sleep

This has become personal

Fuck this shit.

[Chorus]

The legend of the mosquito hating guy

And his lifelong enemy

I’ve lost fucking count

Of all the fucking battles

But somehow that thing keeps beating me

Bzzzzzzzz.

Near my ear.

Bzzzzzzzz.

Then disappears.

This isn’t insect behavior

This is psychological warfare

For the love of god!

[Bridge]

Four A.M.

Bedroom looks like a crime scene.

Pillows everywhere.

Blankets everywhere.

I’ve punched myself twice.

Kicked the wall once.

Still no mosquito.

Then…

Silence.

Finally.

Maybe it’s gone.

Maybe I won.

Maybe—

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

RIGHT IN MY FUCKING EAR!!!

FUUUUCCCKKKK!!!

[Guitar Solo]

[Final Chorus] [Key Lift]

The legend of the mosquito hating guy

Will probably never end

I’ve defeated jobs

Relationships

Traffic

And bureaucrats

But this tiny winged demon

Remains undefeated

Bzzzzzzzz.

Final score:

Mosquito: 1

Me: 0

For now…

[Outro]

Five A.M.

Alarm went off.

Never slept.

Still had the meeting.

Still got the job done.

The mosquito?

Never found the body.

He’s still out there.

Waiting.

Bzzzzzzzzzz.

For the love of god!