[Intro]
It’s easy.
Just get what’s on the list.
How hard could it be? … Mistake.
[Verse 1] She handed me a list before I left the house Said “Just grab these, it won’t take long”
Forty-five minutes later I’m standing in aisle six questioning my existence
Why does flour come in fifty different kinds?
All-purpose Self-rising Cake flour Bread flour
It’s Fucking flour!
Pick a personality and stick with it!
[Pre-Chorus] She sent me for groceries I thought this was shopping
Turns out
It’s a scavenger hunt
[Chorus] Her Fucking list
Her impossible Fucking list
Why is there only one specific milk she drinks?
And why is that one not here?!
There’s fifteen hundred options
But apparently they’re all wrong
I don’t understand this mission
And I’ve been here way too long
Oh. My. Fucking. God!
[Verse 2] “Organic free-range hand-selected artisanal whatever eggs”
What happened to fucking normal eggs?
Did normal eggs commit a fucking crime?
The bread section alone Looks like it requires a fucking degree
And every label says:
“New and Improved”
Shit.
From what?!
It’s fucking bread!
How much innovation does bread need?!
[Pre-Chorus] I came here confident Now I’m reading ingredient labels Like they’re ancient prophecies
[Chorus] Her fucking list Her impossible fucking list
I found twelve things
And somehow none of them count
I sent her five photos
Three videos
Two desperate texts
And still got:
“No.
Not that one.”
Oh. My. Fucking. God!
[Bridge] You know what?! Why is there parsley? And cilantro? And coriander? Are those three things? Or one thing with multiple identities?! And who decided yogurt needs An entire city block?! I just wanted milk! Where did my afternoon go?!
FUCK!
I NEED HELP HERE!
[Guitar Solo]
[Final Chorus] [Key Lift]
Her fucking list
Her impossible fucking list
I’ve crossed off everything twice
And somehow added more
The cashier looks concerned
The shoppers know my name
I’ve aged six years
In ninety minutes
And I’m never shopping again
Oh. My. Fucking. God!
[Outro]
Honey…
I got everything. …
What do you mean
That’s not the right milk? …
Oh. My. Fucking. God!