[Verse 1] Level forty-five Sand More sand Then additional sand The map said artifact The level said desert The disagreement continued Mayhem looked around “This cannot be correct.” “It is a desert,” said Historia. “It is a BAD desert.” Ruin kicked a rock. Nothing happened. Ruin looked offended. Havoc squinted into the distance. “There is nothing to destroy.” Long silence. The crew considered this. Chaos said: “We have found the problem.”
[Pre-Chorus] No walls No gates No monsters No structures No disasters No anything The level was empty The crew was concerned For entirely different reasons
[Chorus] Chaotic destination We came for an artifact Chaotic destination The desert forgot to have a disaster Nothing breaking Nothing falling Nothing screaming in alarm Chaotic destination This feels suspicious
[Verse 2] Historia was writing. She was always writing. Observation twenty-three: Desert remains desert. Observation twenty-four: Mayhem continues to dislike the desert. Observation twenty-five: Ruin has ruined nothing. This is affecting morale. Disorder nodded. “Agreed.” Nobody had asked. Disorder agreed anyway. Chaos checked his map. The map showed sand. Chaos checked another map. The other map showed more sand.
[Pre-Chorus 2] Then something appeared Far across the dunes Moving slowly Very slowly Like someone having a remarkably bad day
[Chorus] Chaotic destination A traveler in the distance Chaotic destination Possibly artifact Possibly trouble Possibly both at once Chaotic destination Finally something happened
[Verse 3] It was Cancer. The star. The crab. Ancient. Powerful. Extremely dehydrated. Cancer looked at the crew. The crew looked at Cancer. Cancer looked at the sand. Cancer looked back at the crew. “I have made mistakes.” “You live in a desert,” said Mayhem. “I am aware.” “You are a crab.” “I am aware.” “You require water.” “I FOUND THIS OUT.” Long pause. Historia wrote rapidly. This seemed important.
[Pre-Chorus 3] Chaos stepped forward. Professional. Focused. Captainly. For nearly three seconds.
[Spoken] [Chaos:] Do you have a bounty? [Cancer:] What? [Chaos:] How much are you worth? [Cancer:] I am dying. [Chaos:] That was not the question. [Disorder:] Agreed. [Cancer:] WHY IS THAT YOUR QUESTION? [Historia:] Documented.
[Chorus] Chaotic destination We’ve located the witness Chaotic destination Negotiations have begun Not well But technically Negotiations have begun
[Bridge] Cancer collapsed onto a dune. “I know where the artifact is.” Everyone stopped. Even Mayhem. Even Ruin. Even Havoc. Mostly. “Tell us.” “Water first.” Long silence. Chaos considered this. Then smiled. The smile was concerning. Chaos reached into his pack.
[Cancer:] Please tell me that’s water.
[Chaos:] Better.
[Cancer:] There is nothing better than water.
[Chaos:] Soup.
Longer silence. The kind that costs something.
[Cancer:] …what.
[Chaos:] Solvren made it.
[Cancer:] That does not explain anything.
[Chaos:] Correct.
[Final Chorus] Chaotic destination The mission has changed again Chaotic destination The witness is now drinking soup Artifact waiting Questions waiting Everything waiting Chaotic destination One bowl later
[Outro] Cancer finished the bowl. The desert went quiet. Cancer stared at his claws. Then his arms. Then the reflection in the bowl.
[Cancer:] Why am I orange?
[Mayhem:] You were not orange before.
[Ruin:] This feels important.
[Historia:] Documented. Color change. Orange.
[Cancer:] More soup.
[Chaos:] Artifact first.
[Cancer:] More soup.
[Chaos:] Artifact.
[Cancer:] Soup.
[Chaos:] Artifact.
Cancer pointed toward the horizon. Far beyond the dunes. Something was glowing. Buried. Waiting.
[Cancer:] Fine. I’ll tell you about the artifact. But you’re giving me the pot.