[Intro — footsteps stop outside the door. She is still.]
I feel him now standing outside my door - Just like always, just like before - And the lessons ---
[Verse] Worship yourself above all That was the first one I remember the day I stopped fighting it The way something went quiet inside me That had been loud
Create false idols That one came easy after Once the real things had all been taken You worship the things that work
[Verse] Blaspheme and deceive He taught me the words himself And told me they were mine
Never rest Only consume I know what hunger does to a person over time I became very good at wanting
[Pre-Chorus 1 — the cost of compliance] I said the words I said all ten of them I let them carve themselves into the places I could not reach I did not have a choice Or I did And the choice was this room Or worse
But something
Something always In the smallest back corner of whatever I still had
Said no
[Chorus — she hears the old voice again] The voice came back Low and familiar Like before the screaming started Like before I learned to be quiet in the wrong ways
The voice said — Not these Not his Not what they made you memorize in the dark You were something before this room You are something inside this room And the commandments he carries Are not the only ones
[Verse] The door opened slowly The way it always does when he wants me afraid before he speaks
Dishonor He said it like a reminder Murder and destroy Like a lesson I had forgotten Steal and covet and bear false witness Like a liturgy
I have heard these words Every day For longer than I can count
And something was different today Because I had heard something else In the silence before he came in
[Pre-Chorus 2 — the light responds] He spoke commandment six And the voice inside me answered it Not with words I have no words
With something else Something that lives behind my eyes Something warm That I have never let him see before Because I did not know it was there
[Chorus — she hears the old voice again] The voice came back Low and familiar Like before the screaming started Like before I learned to be quiet in the wrong ways
The voice said — Not these Not his Not what they made you memorize in the dark You were something before this room You are something inside this room And the commandments he carries Are not the only ones
[Angel Choir building]
[Bridge — the confrontation, no movement, just her eyes] He crossed the room He stood before me He raised his hand The way hands are raised in this room
And I looked at him
Just looked
I did not move I did not reach I made no sound Because I have no sound to make
I only looked at him With whatever is in me now With the thing that has been growing since I woke With the warmth that is not mine and is entirely mine
And he
Stopped
[Outro — he retreats, she does not move] He lowered his hand
Slowly The way things move when something has changed And the thing that changed does not have a name yet
He took a step back One Then another
He did not speak the commandments again
He left
I stood in the center of the room And I felt the warmth behind my eyes Cooling slowly back to quiet
I did not know what I had done
I only know He did not come back that day
And something inside me That had been silent for a very long time
Said — Good.